We may just be five days in, but my brilliant system to beat the bookmakers betting on the 2011-12 English football season is looking good already.

It's early days, so I won't bore you for too long now. There's nine whole months for that.

But my total despair from the weekend has turned to sheer joy after the First Round of the Carling Cup.

Bournemouth (remember them, the soft-bellied southern ladyboys I backed - as part of my genius 315-fold ultraccumulator - at 50-1 each-way to win League 1) recovered from their 3-0 pasting at Charlton on Saturday to smash FIVE past the mighty minnows of Dagenham & Redbridge in front of a bemused, thrilled crowd of 3,681 at Dean Court.

A 5-0 win on the back of a 3-0 defeat. Ridiculous. An EIGHT goal swing. But I'll take it.

So, Bournemouth are well on the up heading into their clash with title favourites Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday. As they'll need to be, sitting in 23rd in a 24 team division.

But what of the other teams in my multi-variant acca from hell? How did they fare in the League Cup? How's their form looking ahead of the weekend?

Check this out...

Bury won (3-1), MK Dons won (4-1), Sheffield Utd won (4-3 on pens), Leeds won (3-2), Nottingham Forest won (4-3 on pens), Huddersfield won (4-2), Preston won (3-2), Leicester won (4-1).

Nine of my teams were in action. All nine won, scoring a total of 30 goals in open play between them. That's an average of 3.33 goals each.

Excuse my Francais. But fuck my old boots I'm good.

This is starting to be fun, which was the whole idea when I raided the piggy bank and blew the wife's manicure money.

Bring. On. Saturday...